Posts Tagged ‘Superman’

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 26


Strange were the ways of flirting and talking dirty back in the Silver Age.

She means the milk from the cow, Clark.

This unusual but welcome invitation has been brought to you by Superman #165 (November 1963) by Robert Bernstein, Al Plastino, Curt Swan, and George Klein.

Little Red Boxers Lost


Earlier this week, it was announced that Scott Lobdell would be taking over writing duties on the much-troubled Superman, which would make it the second time that creative team assigned to that title has changed since the New 52 started less than a year ago.

Since I’m not following it and DC titles are dropping from my pull list like flies, this doesn’t affect me in the slightest, but I found the following statement of Lobdell’s from an interview with The Huffington Post rather troubling:

“In fact, I am willing to say publically that if you adore Red Hood and The Outlaws (and, hey, who doesn’t?!)… you are going to love the little red boxers off of Superman!” – Scott Lobdell

I’m going to ignore the part about Red Hood and the Outlaws since I’ve already made my opinion on that particular topic very clear on this blog, but not the other half, for reasons that will soon become clear.

Scott, old chum(p), for the record, this is what the main character of your upcoming book looks like at present:

Boxers or briefs? Neither, apparently.

Superman’s “little red boxers” went the way of bell-bottom pants and acid-wash jeans when the DC Universe got rebooted last September. Unless, of course, you’re talking about your own personal underwear-wearing habits, in which case…too much information, dude.

Seriously, DC Comics…you assigned someone who doesn’t even know what your company’s flagship character currently looks like to write him? What the everloving hell?

Superman Says The Darndest Things – Part 6


Little known fact: one of Superman‘s lesser known powers is super-creepiness.

Trust me, you DON’T want to know where Superman’s other hand is in that second panel.

This semi-incestuous Kryptonian moment has been brought to you by Action Comics #289 (June 1962) by Leo Dorfman, Jerry Siegel, George Klein, Jim Mooney, Curt Swan, and Al Plastino.

Playing the Kryptonian Race Card


The Lex Luthor of Earth-23 really hates misconceptions about the nature of his irrational hatred of Superman.

Speciesist? Yes. Xenophobic? Yes. Racist? HELL NO.

This breakdown in interplanetary racial relations courtesy of Action Comics #9 (July 2012) by Grant Morrison, Gene Ha, Art Lyon, Rags Morales, and Brad Anderson.

Superman Says The Darndest Things – Part 5


Remember how I theorized that White Kryptonite might’ve affected Superman‘s brain last time around? Well, if it did, I don’t think it ever wore off.

Or maybe it’ll trigger the Kryptonian photic sneeze reflex and result in your BLOWING OUT THE SUN.

This leap of logic has been brought to you by DC Comics Presents #58 (June 1983) by Mike W. Barr, Curt Swan, and Dave Hunt.

Superman Says The Darndest Things – Part 4


If you listen closely, you’ll be able to make out the sound of thousands of high school biology teachers weeping in unison.

No, I think the White Kryptonite just made him super-dumb, actually.

This massive taxonomical fail has been brought to you by Action Comics #366 (August 1968) by Leo Dorfman, Ross Andru, Neal Adams, and Mike Esposito.

Reductio ad Hitlerum – Part 1


There’s only one thing worse than a clone of Adolf Hitler. And that’s two clones of Adolf Hitler.

Those Brazilian geneticists really went too far this time.

This abomination courtesy of Superman: At Earth’s End (1995) by Tom Veitch and Frank Gomez.

Superman Says The Darndest Things – Part 3


So Superman’s seen This Is Spinal Tap? Who knew?

I'm more surprised that he caught the MAGIC hammer WITHOUT SHATTERING EVERY BONE IN HIS GODDAMN HAND.

This gratuitous 80s movie reference has been brought to you by Avengers/JLA #2 of 4 (2003) by Kurt Busiek and George Pérez.

Superman Says The Darndest Things – Part 2


Considering that he just got shot near the heart with a Kryptonite bullet, I’m willing to cut Superman some slack for this one…though I don’t think Batman is going to be as generous.

The kind that DC Comics can't afford to pemanently kill off, I reckon.

Today’s delusional statement courtesy of Superman/Batman #2 (November 2003) by Jeph Loeb, Ed McGuinness, and Dexter Vines.

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 6


If the cute alien girl with the inbuilt identical triplets factor is interested in being your girlfriend, it is your duty as a heterosexual man to express great enthusiasm and go for it.

"Ever had group sex with just one girl before?"

Unfortunately for Triplicate Girl, Superboy apparently likes his women a bit more…dangerous.

Great. Just what every guy dreams of. A woman who can READ YOUR GODDAMN MIND.

This public service message brought to you by Superman: Secret Origin #2 (December 2009) and Action Comics #858 (December 2007) by Geoff Johns, Gary Frank, and Jon Sibal.

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