Archive for the ‘Barbara Gordon’ Category

Superhero Problems – Part 1


And you thought tanning weird while visiting the beach was bad.

Just wear that facial mask for a few days straight and that burn should be gone in no time. :)

Just wear that facial mask for a few days straight and no one will notice. 🙂

Today’s inspired improvisation has been brought to you by Batgirl: Year One #7 (August 2003) by Scott Beatty, Chuck Dixon, Marcos Martin, and Alvaro Lopez.

The Bat, The Robin, and The Pythons


Huh. Who knew that Batgirl enjoyed watching old British sketch comedy series?

Coconuts, perhaps? ;)

Coconuts, perhaps? 😉

This homage to Monty Python’s Flying Circus has been brought to you by Batman Family #3 (January-February 1976) by Bill Finger, Joe Greene, Elliot S. Maggin, Ernie Chan, José Luis García-López, Sheldon Moldoff, Dick Sprang, Vince Colletta, and Charles Paris.

Sex and Dating, Superhuman Style – Part 4


Romance is dead. And Black Mask and Oracle were the killers.

These two must really suck at pillow talk.

This tender moment has been brought to you by Batman #633 (December 2004) by Bill Willingham, Kinsun, Aaron Sowd, Rodney Ramos, and Adam DeKraker.

The Cad and the Bat


When you’re out cruisin’ for love, nothing throws the old Pussy Wagon into reverse quite as effectively as the idea of committing statutory rape, something that the following encounter between Green Arrow and a teenage Batgirl well demonstrates.

Your attempt to impress the ladies has FAILED.

This blemish in the Emerald Archer’s little black book has been brought to you by Birds of Prey #109 (October 2007) by Tony Bedard, Nicola Scott, and Doug Hazlewood.

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 15


While paying her respects to Blue Beetle one year after his death in the company of Black Canary, her adoptive daughter Sin, and the Huntress, Oracle makes a rather startling confession to her teammates about her private relationship with the late Ted Kord. Unfortunately, in doing so, she raises a rather interesting question: has “the world’s premier infojock and data specialist supreme” ever used all that computer technology at her disposal for…shall we say…less than noble purposes?

No wonder Black Canary adopted a girl name "Sin".

I choose to respond to Black Canary’s disgusting comment thusly:

Is that an invitation to see my dongle?

This textbook definition of “too much information” comes to your courtesy of Birds of Prey #96 (September 2006) by Gail Simone, Paulo Sequeira, Jerry Ordway, and Robin Riggs.

Star Wars, iPhones, and Fleeting Anachronisms


It’s ladies’ night out in Gotham City as Zatanna Zatara, Wonder Woman, and a pre-paraplegic Barbara Gordon decide to hit every nightclub, karaoke joint, and bar that they possibly can. about being dressed to kill.

Early on, our favorite female magician proves just how deadly the combination of a woman’s wiles with magic can be when she shamelessly uses her powers to cut in line (and show off her pop culture knowledge to boot).

This is what's commonly referred to by nerds as "foreplay".

Later, out on the dance floor, Wonder Woman makes the acquaintance of a rather boorish young man and decides to engage in a petty act of vandalism after he inadvertently insults her. Bitch.

Just be glad she didn't try and redefine the term "nutcracker".

This humorous scene is also notable for containing a unique type of anachronism for comics: the fleeting kind.

According to the floating timeline that the DC Universe operates on, the events of Batman: The Killing Joke (1988) – the graphic novel in which Barbara Gordon was crippled – took place approximately six years ago. Since it’s currently 2010, that would mean that this flashback story from The Brave and the Bold #33 (June 2010) ostensibly takes place sometime in 2004…yet the iPhone was first released three years later in June 2007.

The good news is that, while this story may be historically inaccurate now, it won’t be in three years’ time, which is pretty neat, I think. Of course, if Apple Inc. ever discontinues the entire iPhone line we’re going to have a whole new set of problems to deal with.

Which leaves us with an interesting question: did writer J. Michael Straczynski do all this on purpose or not?

UPDATE (2010.05.06.): I missed an anachronism due to serious gaps in my musical knowledge (though the fact that the lyrics are mostly obscured doesn’t help either). Several people have pointed out that the song Barbara, Diana, and Zatanna are belting out in the karaoke bar…

I would love to see them do "Telephone" next.

…is Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) by Beyoncé Knowles, which was released in October 2008. So it looks we’ll have to wait until 2014 before historical accuracy kicks in.

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 1


Fans have been wondering for a long time whether or not Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are “special friends”. But when Batgirl goes straight to the source and asks the question that’s on everyone’s mind, she learns that turnabout is fair play:

Femslash can cut to the bone, my dearest Batgirl.

This cautionary tale is brought to you by Batgirl Adventures #1 (February 1998), courtesy of Paul Dini and Rick Burchett.

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