Today’s the day of the 2012 Quebec General Election, and I’m hoping that any Quebecers reading this will do their best to keep Pauline Maroisthe sum of whose political ambitions entirely fall into the categories of “separate Quebec from Canada” and “discriminate against English speakers by reinforcing the already draconian language laws or creating new ones” – out of office.

Remember: A vote for the Parti Québécois is a vote for the giant, scary, malfunctioning robot from the Quebec Board of the French Language, who will use his evil powers to translate every English sign he sees into French.

Sadly, this isn’t too far from the truth.

For everyone who isn’t Canadian, a French speaker, or more than 20 years old, here’re some quick translations and explanations:

  1. La langue française: The French language.
  2. Pneu 101% québécois: 101% Québécois Tire. Canadian Tire is the name of a Canadian retail store chain.
  3. BlocQuébécois Vidéo: Quebec Bloc Video. The Bloc Québécois is the name of a Canadian federal political party.
  4. Manger sur: “(To) eat on (top of)”. Eaton was the name of a now-defunct Canadian department store chain.
  5. La banque des impérialistes colonistes de Toronto: The Bank of the Imperial Colonists of Toronto, a riff on the Toronto-Dominion Bank, the second largest bank in Canada.

This dark vision of things that may come to pass courtesy of Angloman 2: Money, Ethnics, Superheroes (November 1996) by Gabriel Morrissette and Mark Shainblum.

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