Archive for March, 2012

The Fall of James Franklin Hyneman

2012/03/31

Montreal, Quebec, Canada. March 30, 2012. A day that will go down in infamy.

Chuck Norris is next on her list.

This latest sign of the impending apocalypse courtesy of MythBusters: The Behind the Myths Tour.

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Reductio ad Hitlerum – Part 1

2012/03/30

There’s only one thing worse than a clone of Adolf Hitler. And that’s two clones of Adolf Hitler.

Those Brazilian geneticists really went too far this time.

This abomination courtesy of Superman: At Earth’s End (1995) by Tom Veitch and Frank Gomez.

Exact Change Only, Please

2012/03/26

Can’t the criminals in Gotham City do anything normally?

I wouldn't ask him to break a bill if I were you.

This penny ante robbery attempt has been brought to you by Batgirl #5 (March 2012) by Gail Simone, Ardian Syaf, and Vicente Sifuentes.

Sex and Dating, Superhuman Style – Part 6

2012/03/22

Whether you’re having trouble with your life partner or your crimefighting partner, the Savage Dragon has some sage advice.

You have no idea how close to home this hits. The alternate reality twins were what wrecked my last relationship.

Today’s life lesson has been brought to you by Lovebunny & Mr. Hell: Savage Love #1 (2003) by Tim Seeley, Cory Hamscher, and Erik Larsen.

Variations on a Theme – Part 3: Zarana With Earrings

2012/03/18

If you read the previous entry in this ongoing series, you’re probably assuming that you have things all figured out this time around. And if that’s the case, then you’re in for a pretty big surprise.

Our contestant today is Zarana, the lone female Dreadnok from the fifth wave of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero toyline releases in 1986. Once again, the most frequently seen version is on the left while the more difficult to find and valuable variant is on the right.

Zartan realized that his sister's plastic surgery addiction had gone too far.

As you can see, the earrings are just about the least of the changes that were made to this figure. Shortly after Zarana’s initial release, her rather original large head was replaced with a completely different, smaller sculpt with more feminine, delicate, and petite facial features. The difference is actually rather striking when seen from up close.

Zarana head sculpt comparison (from left to right): front, profile, back, overhead, and three-quarter views.

Exactly why this change was made is anyone’s guess, though I personally consider it an improvement. If nothing else, it bears a much greater resemblance to the character’s depiction in her own cardback art.

There's nothing sexier than a hot chick with power tools.

On a final note, I’ve noticed that Zarana is just one in a long list of action figures in this line that have extremely shoddy gold paint applications. What makes it especially bad in this case is that the variant of the day’s extremely large earrings sometimes end up being completely flesh-colored, making it look like she has stretched earlobes. Either way, she still fetches two or three times the price as her standard counterpart does, so maybe she’s getting the last laugh after all…

Variations on a Theme – Part 2: Dark Green Gloves Copperhead

2012/03/14

This entry in the series will be a pretty short one, and, to be honest, the title pretty much says it all.

Our subject today is the Cobra Water Moccasin pilot Copperhead, who was part of the third wave of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero toyline releases in 1984. The most commonly found version is on the left and the variant of interest on the right.

A snake in the grass is nothing compared to two snakes on the water.

The initial release of Copperhead had dark green gloves and armbands, while the later one not only had light green gloves and armbands but also paint highlights of the same tone added to the fin and sides of his helmet. Of these variants – which have become unimaginatively (but accurately) christened Dark Green Gloves Copperhead and Light Green Gloves Copperhead, respectively, by collectors – the former is more difficult to find than the latter and goes for around two to three times as much if my past experiences on eBay are any indication.

For more information on Copperhead, please refer to his article on the Yo Joe! website.

If You Want Something Done Right…

2012/03/10

…you have to do it yourself.

And this concludes our lesson for today. Any questions?

This step-by-step guide has been brought to you by Secret Six #1 (November 2008) by Gail Simone, Nicola Scott, and Doug Hazlewood.

Sex and Dating, Superhuman Style – Part 5

2012/03/06

Murder. Kidnapping. Assassination. Theft. Genocide. These are just some of the things that Deathstroke the Terminator will acknowledge having done with ease.  But having consensual sex with a chain-smoking, mentally unstable 15-year-old girl? Hell no.


Well, they got Al Capone on tax evasion. Maybe statutory rape charges will be what finally sticks to this bastard.

This seriously messed-up question and answer period courtesy of Tales of the Teen Titans #55 (July 1985) by Marv Wolfman and Ron Randall.

Superman Says The Darndest Things – Part 3

2012/03/02

So Superman’s seen This Is Spinal Tap? Who knew?

I'm more surprised that he caught the MAGIC hammer WITHOUT SHATTERING EVERY BONE IN HIS GODDAMN HAND.

This gratuitous 80s movie reference has been brought to you by Avengers/JLA #2 of 4 (2003) by Kurt Busiek and George Pérez.


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