Archive for February, 2011

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 19


When making first contact, it’s natural for alien species to be curious about one another, especially if their respective biologies are vastly different. In certain situations, however, sometimes it’s best to treat curious extraterrestrials like precocious children by totally dodging their uncomfortable – but totally innocent! – questions. That certainly seems to be Stella Holley‘s preferred strategy.

Maybe we should conduct a strip search to make sure that she doesn’t have any more concealed weapons on her…

This close encounter of the awkward kind has been brought to you by Super Robot Lifeform Transformers: Legend of the Microns (超ロボット生命体トランスフォーマーマイクロン伝説/Chou Robotto Seimeitai Toransufoumaa Maikuron Densetsu) – “Linkage”: Part 2 (May 28, 2003) by Hirofumi Ichikawa.

The Milk of Human Kindness Comes in Saucers…


Even though a really gifted actor or actress can breathe life into just about any character that he or she plays, there comes a point where no amount of talent can possibly compensate for hopelessly miscast roles. Sorry, Hollywood, but I just can’t picture Will Smith as Superman. Also, the idea of John Wayne as Genghis Khan didn’t really work for anyone, either (the Duke’s enthusiasm for the part notwithstanding).

While I’d hardly consider myself a speciesist, even I must admit that having the eternally optimistic, cheerful catwoman Felicia play the role of Lady Macbeth seems equally out of place…

"Letting 'I dare not' wait upon 'I would', Like the poor cat i' the adage."

Today’s species-blind casting call courtesy of Darkstalkers #3 (January 2005) by Ken Sio-Chong, Kevin Lau, Alvin Lee, Scott Hepburn, and Joe Madureira.

Sex and Dating, Superhuman Style – Part 2


When it comes to physical intimacy, super-strength and invulnerability are an absolute bitch. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Just ask Citizen Steel and Power Girl here.

If there was ever a reason to have a good dental plan, this is it.

This painful lesson in love comes to you courtesy of JSA All-Stars #15 (April 2011) by Matthew Sturges and Freddie Williams II.

Sex and Dating, Superhuman Style – Part 1


Let’s face it: at one time or another, we’ve all done stupid things to try and get the attention of members of the opposite sex. So, as you can probably imagine, when it comes to getting Supergirl‘s attention, guys will do really stupid things.

Hey, if it worked for Lois Lane, it can work for you.

Today’s dating don’t has been brought to you by Supergirl #60 (March 2011) by Nick Spencer, James Peaty, Bernard Chang, Amy Reeder, Richard Friend, and Guy Major.

Equal Opportunity Godhood


Ever wondered what it would take to revise a sexually discriminatory mystical inscription so that it accounts for non-traditional gender roles? Well, having Rogue permanently absorb the powers and abilities of Thor would seem to just about do it.

There's nothing like breaking through the glass ceiling with an uru hammer.

Today step towards gender equality has been brought to you by What If…? #66 (October 1994) by Simon Furman, John Royle, and Bambos.

There Can Be Only One


In the entire Marvel Universe, there is but a single crazy black man. And everyone knows who he is.

He's crazy, black, AND hard up for cash.

Today’s example of racial profiling has been brought to you by Luke Cage, Hero for Hire #9 (May 1973) by Steve Englehart, George Tuska, and Billy Graham.

Politically Incorrect Theater – Part 1


When last we saw the Joker, he’d just made the acquaintance of Ayatollah Khomeini and been offered a cushy position within the Iranian government. Now I wonder what that could that possibly be?

Oh for fuck's sake.

You know, by now, I’m pretty sure that most of you think that we’ve hit rock bottom. And you’d be right. But for some people, hitting rock bottom means exactly one thing: it’s time to start digging.

That depends, actually. Catfish and shark are halal, but eel's kinda iffy.

Today’s Islamophobic propaganda has been brought to you by Batman #428 (Winter 1988) and #429 (January 1989) by Jim Starlin, Jim Aparo, and Mike DeCarlo.

Strange Comic Book Cameos – Batman #428 (Winter 1988)


Have you ever wondered what kind of monumental badass it would take to intimidate the friggin’ Joker? Well, comic book readers learned the surprising answer to that question in Batman #428 (Winter 1988) by Jim Starlin, Jim Aparo, and Mike DeCarlo.

Oh merde.

So what exactly does Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini have in mind for the Clown Prince of Crime? Tune in later this week, same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel, as our epic descent into tasteless, dated social commentary continues.

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