Archive for July, 2010

Robosexuality – Part 4

2010/07/30

Ever wonder how robots flirt with one other? Just watch cybernetic lothario Robotman in action as he sweet talks the (unbeknownst to him) evil Mekanique into going back to the lab with him for a “checkup”:

Robotman bringing new meaning to the term "getting brain".

This beginner’s guide to “cybersex” brought to you by All-Star Squadron #60 (August 1986) by Roy Thomas, Mike Clark, Arvell Jones, Vince Colletta, and Tony DeZuniga.

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Ravager’s Pillow Talk

2010/07/27

If I had a nickel for every time a woman said this to me after sex, I’d be a rich man.

Imagine what she'd threaten you with if you'd been BAD in the sack.

This touching post-coital conversation brought to you by Blackest Night: Titans #1 (October 2009) by J.T. Krul, Ed Benes, Rob Hunter, John Sibal, and J.P. Mayer.

Robosexuality – Part 3

2010/07/24

You know, my taste doesn’t normally run to machines, but I must admit that this kind of view would go a long way towards changing my mind:

Oh great. A woman who's both steamy AND frigid at the same time.

To paraphrase an old Internet saying, we’re all robosexual for Platinum.

This scene raises a good question, though. (And no, it’s not “Is Will Magnus gay?” We all know the answer to that one.) What exactly are these superhuman abilities that Tina is referring to? Are they bondage-related, perhaps?

Yeesh...get a room, you two.

This lesson in sexual frustration comes to your courtesy of Doom Patrol #1 (October 2009) by Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis, and Kevin Maguire and Action Comics #590 (July 1987) by John Byrne and Dick Giordano.

“The Last Supper” in Comic Books – Part 2

2010/07/21

Even if you haven’t read the premiere post in this new ongoing series, you should be able to guess what this is all about from the title alone. Here’s the original painting…

"The Last Supper" by Leonardo da Vinci (1495-1498)

…and here’s a panel from Legion of Super-Heroes #2 (September 1984) by artist Keith Giffen:

Oh great. "Jesus" is insane and thinks lightning talks to him while "Judas" is a mentally unbalanced Darkseid worshipper.

The character-by-character breakdown:

  • Bartholomew: Cosmic King
  • James the Less: Spider Girl
  • Andrew: Terrus
  • Judas: Ol-Vir
  • Peter: Radiation Roy
  • John: Esper Lass
  • Jesus: Lightning Lord
  • Thomas: Neutrax
  • James the Greater: Chameleon Chief
  • Philip: Sun Emperor
  • Matthew: Silver Slasher
  • Jude: Mist Master
  • Simon: Ron-Karr

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 12

2010/07/18

You’re young, you’re female, you’re in high school…and you have x-ray vision. What’s a girl to do? As the following discussion between the (then) modern Supergirl, Linda Danvers, and her Silver Age counterpart, Kara Zor-El, illustrates, it’s best not to jump to any conclusions:

"Wow...would you look at the size of those balls?"

This tale of the comic book generation gap brought to you by Supergirl #77 (February 2003) by Peter David, Ed Benes, and Alex Lei.

Young Justice Admission Standards

2010/07/15

While visiting Young Justice for the first time following a long hiatus, Red Tornado notices that they’ve added a new member, Empress, to their team. So, naturally, he’s curious about her qualifications:

Aww, c'mon...how can you resist a winning smile like that?

These new admission standards guidelines courtesy of Young Justice #35 (September 2001) by Peter David, Todd Nauck, Andy Lanning, and Lary Stucker.

Robosexuality – Part 2

2010/07/12

If the way to a man’s heart is really through his stomach, Platinum‘s got a lot of cooking left to do…

Even if tofu turkey's on the menu...how can you resist that smile?

This cooking lesson has been brought to you by Doom Patrol #1 (October 2009) by Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis, and Kevin Maguire.

The Universal Translator – The Final Night #1 (November 1996)

2010/07/09

Hoo boy…this one from The Final Night #1 – Week One: Armageddon (November 1996) by Karl Kesel, Stuart Immonen, and Jose Marzan Jr. is a doozy, all right:


Aside from the incorrect comma placement and the fact that “ça” has a superfluous space separating its two letters, the French is actually fine. The kicker is that this translates into English as, “Two suns? What is this? A diabolical plan to destroy the culture of France?”

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 11

2010/07/06

When it comes to Superman (or Kryptonians in general, really), we all know that exposure to Green Kryptonite is deadly in the long run, Red Kryptonite can have a variety of bizarre effects that last no more than 48 hours, and Gold Kryptonite results in a loss of superpowers (temporarily or permanently, depending on continuity). But what does Pink Kryptonite do? Well…

Superman's Boytoy Jimmy Olsen.

This fabulous lesson in astrogeology comes to you courtesy of Supergirl #79 (April 2003) by Peter David, Ed Benes, and Alex Lei.

Comic Book Sexual Innuendo – Part 10

2010/07/03

Some people say that, when you’re close to death, you catch a glimpse of heaven. And while the Grim Reaper may be looking him square in the face,  the Penguin is staring at something else entirely when Dove comes to his rescue…and learns that paradise is a lot closer to Earth than he may have previously believed.

I spy with my little eye...

This theological musing comes to your courtesy of Birds of Prey #2 (August 2010) by Gail Simone, Ed Benes, Adriana Melo, and Mariah Benes.


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